after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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