I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
