i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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