Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
