I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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