I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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