i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
