you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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