yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
