I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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