I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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