Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You pole danced in your parka.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
