He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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