So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
