have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Boobs speak an international language.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
