Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
