Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
