Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
