soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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