So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I met the friendliest cop last night
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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