Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
foreskin is a definite game changer
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
