he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
