You really coming over, don't trick.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
