Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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