The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize