So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize