I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
