her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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