We won't sleep together?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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