i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
