So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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