My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The chlamydia really affected his face.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize