you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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