I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
