Only a mothe r could love this liver
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
