Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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