Nicole vs. Life
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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