new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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