lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
