My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
