Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I fill condoms, not promises.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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