So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize