We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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