It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
