i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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