Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
