She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
