we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
