They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My vagina is very pro this idea
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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