Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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