It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
