Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
