Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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