She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
