Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
