I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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