My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
