dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize