how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
