We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize