The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize