I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
