u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
