you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just found a bag of teeth...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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