It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize