yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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