I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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