Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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