last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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