youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
