come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
