A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You were trust falling into bushes
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize